My_Kids

When playing the old parlor game, "Would You Change Anything If You Could Live Life Over," I always emphatically stress that I like the way my life is now, so I wouldn't change a thing. I fear the butterfly effect might get me. It could cause me to miss meeting Wonder Woman or have me choose a career in some other field that I might have loved less than the mostly great time I've had working in technology. That's a pretty boring answer when you are trying to kill time on a camping trip or a long car ride, so for the sake of not being a killjoy, I'll come up with a few "maybes".

That one time I voted for a Republican

When I lived with my Mom and step-dad in the early to mid-70s, politics was discussed with some frequency, mostly registering disgust with Richard Nixon and NC senator Jess Helms. During my freshman years of high school, I moved to my uncle's farm. Politics was never discussed there — ever. We discussed the likelihood of rain, who shot J.R on Dallas and what time the next football game was coming on. I turned 18 in 1983 and the following year I was eligible to vote in the election. I'd joined the military, and although I read the paper, I still didn't have strong political feelings, so when I went to the polls, I cast my ballot carelessly. When I finally did get some political sensibility, I wanted a time machine ride to go recast that vote, but it was too late.

The time I married a woman I met in rehab

I was never a successful drinker. The first time I tried to quit, I was 22. I'd been convicted of drinking and driving and to keep my job working for the state, I volunteered to go to rehab (at a place that is now a funeral home.) While I was there, I met a woman ten years older than me who was also in treatment. She liked me, and I liked being liked. I moved in with her after spending a single weekend together. Look, this woman was so evil, that when we were together, we refinanced our house. She was a legal secretary and did all the paperwork. When we inevitably split up, I found out that while I had signed the mortgage and was responsible for the loan, she'd left my name off the deed to the house. I had no leverage to make her take my name off the mortgage. My name stayed on it for over 20 years — until the bank finally foreclosed and gave me a big old frowny face on my credit report.

School Stuff

Although my mother probably is still holding on to hope, I never went to college. I never wanted to, and I'm not sorry one bit that I didn't. That is my story, and I am sticking to it. For the sake of contributing to the conversation though, I suppose if I had to pick a major, with the benefit of hindsight, I'd have probably gone with journalism. It's a low paying job with long hours. The people who practice it get little respect. Still, I've always loved writing. Crafting informative, well-researched blog posts on subjects I'm passionate about takes me to my happy place. I did work as a technical writer and editor for a few years at the same time my brother and sister, both graduates of our state's flagship university, were doing the same thing. Funny how life works.

Dad Stuff

I raised three kids. I'll spare you the details because it gets confusing, but if you really want to put the puzzle together, read The Fourth Time is a Charm. The kids were all different, as people tend to be. My parents were 17 when I was born. I was 18 when my son was born. My daughter came along less than two years later. Being a teenage parent didn't ruin anyone's life. I wouldn't change that. What I would change is the number of parent-teacher conferences I went to, the number of soccer games and swimming practices attended and things like that. I wish I'd said “maybe” a lot less to them and “yes” a lot more. My youngest daughter, who I raised from age six into adulthood and I have had a difficult time lately. Her mom died of cancer three years after we were divorced, and it has been hard for her. There is no guidebook for complicated relationships like ours. I don't know exactly what I would do differently with her, if given the chance, but I'd come up with something.

So there you have it. Those are my biggest regrets. None of them are the cause of lifelong trauma. Hopefully, I've made up for that errant vote. I'll count that unfortunate marriage as just practice. I live a comfortable life and I get to write all I want these days, so missing school didn't hurt. The great relationships I have with my two oldest kids and Wonder Woman's two daughters are a true source of happiness. The rocky time with my youngest still has time to heal. Thanks for reading.

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