crop

I cringe whenever I hear some uninformed person going on and on about how easy people in prison have it. “They have it made. They get three hots and a cot and free medical care!” Never mind all the danger, the loss of freedom and the monotony, one thing prison does is infantilize the incarcerated. It takes away many of the privileges of adulthood.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be grown so badly. I loved talking to adults and hanging out with them when I could. Being an adult looked like the greatest thing in the world. You escaped from the dictatorship of your parents and your school, and you got to do whatever you want. I could not wait. I didn't even make it to the end of my senior year of high school under the umbrella of my family. Furthermore, I joined the military and left for basic training nine days after I graduated. Of course, that experience didn't involve a lot of freedom, but you definitely got treated like an adult. I got married a week after I finished that experience and by the end of the year, I had my own place, an income, and the freedom I always wanted.

Of course, commensurate with freedom comes responsibility, but I'm feeling hedonistic tonight, so I am concentrating on the freedom aspect of it. The true freedom doesn't come until your kids are out of the house and self-supporting. In fact, I would say that true freedom doesn't really occur until near the end of your days as a wage slave.

As I was nearing the end of my career, I'd been at my job for over a quarter of a century. I earned the maximum number of annual leave days each year that one can earn, and I never, ever, ever let any of those days go unused. I also had a huge number of sick days on the balance sheet. Every morning, I had the freedom to decide, “Do I want to go to work today?” I wasn't in the habit of abusing my privilege. I had people I cared about relying on me, but I knew in the back of my head that I could have a mental health day whenever I needed.

Other wonderful adult privileges I appreciate to this day or deciding when I want to go to sleep and when I wish to wake up. I had an enforced bedtime past my 18th birthday, and I hated it. I love to read, and being able to continue a book at night in a dark house while everyone else is sleeping is just divine. Likewise, although I do have to be at work on time, I can still get up as early as I want to be on my computer or sleep until the last minute. Nobody is the boss of me! We have to be grateful for things like that after being mandated by parents, our children and other circumstances.

Unlike prison inmates or soldiers, I can choose to wear whatever I want. I do the Steve Jobs thing where in public I go with the same style of pants and a black shirt every day. It's not a uniform, it's just easy, and I've been like that for years. At home, I opt for comfort and tend to hold on to shorts and sweatpants until they disintegrate. 

Oh — there's food too. I grew up in one of those “you have to eat everything on your plate” houses. There were only a few things I didn't care for, but my Mom made them anyway. I haven't had to eat a serving of green English peas since 1979. I'll never eat them again, either. I don't even have to worry about being a good example to my kids anymore. I can have cereal for supper and pizza for breakfast and no one is going to stop me because I am a gown-ass man and I can do what I want, and I love it.

Enjoyed it? Please upvote 👇