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When you meet someone named William, and they tell you they prefer to be called Bill, almost all of us do the one rational and sane thing that the situation calls for. We call them Bill. If their name is William, and they ask to be called Chip, all the non-crazy people in their circle call them Chip. Not only is it basic human decency to call people what they want to be called, it's also the path of the least resistance. It causes exactly zero problems, and it actually prevents conflicts that would be caused by some idiot's stupid obstinacy in insisting that the only rational name to call anyone is the name on their birth certificate. It's no one else's business why any of us choose to be called by our preferred name. Whatever the reason is for your choice or mine, it is good enough.

My middle name happens to be Kimbal. When you shorten it, as most people did when that was the name I went by, it's Kim. From birth to the first couple of years of school, Kim is the name I used when introducing myself. It's what I wrote on my first and second grade spelling tests, right there at the top on the line labeled "Name". Because kids are assholes, some of them decided that my name didn't conform to the gender norms they thought were acceptable, In other words, they thought Kim was a girl's name. Since I am not a girl and have never identified as a girl and because I had that traditional social conditioning that anything that challenges one's manliness is bad, even if for a six-year-old, I was greatly offended. It made me mad enough to cry, which made me even more mad. Since I was then a pissed off, crying, immature little boy-child with poor coping skills, my next step was usually to make the socially unacceptable choice of attempting to beat someone's ass. That was frowned on, and I got lectured on how I should just ignore mean people. Well, that was bullshit then and it is bullshit now.

I eventually caved to pressure, tried a few other names and ended up going by Lou, which is a perfectly fine name, I suppose, but not the one that I was used to.

Now, you probably know where I am going with this. Most people who are going to read this most likely don't have an issue calling people what they want to be called. If they wish to be called Mary, even though the name on their birth certificate is William, most people who read the rants of this particular progressive old white guy, are cool enough to call that person Mary. If Mary asks, quite naturally that you say she and her when you refer to her, then the people I like, are going to say OK, and do exactly that. They do it because they aren't crazy and they aren't assholes. They have manners and basic human decency. They are not needlessly antagonistic, and they would rather not make another human being feel bad for absolutely no reason. Good for them!

The only reason to refuse to call someone by their preferred name, gender, and pronouns is that you are morally deficient. You are a flawed human being with untreated personality issues. You are probably cruel in other ways that make sense to no one apart from your own twisted self. You may know and be friends with some other weirdos who share your flaws, but that doesn't make any of you right. Not only that, but you are most likely still mad at six-year-old me who beat your ass back in 1971 — because you deserved it then, just like you deserve it now.

Please send this, anonymously if you have to, to anyone in your life who needs to read it.

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