CostBenefit

When making a decision is easy, it is because there is little to no downside to taking action. I decide to get up early most mornings because I treasure being able to relax with coffee before heading to my office. I choose to be polite to most people I deal with because making people smile and being helpful makes me feel good. Those are easy choices to make for me today, although they are more difficult for some. Getting out of bed is a real challenge when you are depressed. Engaging with people in a friendly way can be intimidating for the painfully shy or introverted folks who do not want to invite uncomfortable small talk.

Often times, deciding to do something that's supposed to be good for me can be challenging. Currently, I am really struggling to be more physically active. I've used the fact that I had my knees replaced a few years back to serve as my excuse for not walking, an activity that I've enjoyed most of my life. I walked before work and at lunch for years, listening to podcasts and books or just enjoying the sounds from the local park or the neighborhood. Now, to my utter embarrassment, even short walks leave me breathing uncomfortably hard. My pace is glacial. To alleviate that, I'll have to put up with it until my body starts to adapt to the increased activity. I'll get to spend less time comfortably reading on my couch. That is the only downside. The upside is weight loss, better health, a longer life expectancy and no longer gasping for air anytime I have to walk uphill. Sounds like a no-brainer, but it hasn't been easy to decide to take the first walk.

Then there are other times when it's not obvious what the best course of action is. Life in America for people with the values I hold dear is full of outrage right now. Every day we find out about some horrible new thing the fascists are doing to vulnerable people. Today I learned that they've removed access to information on a host of topics including hate crime data, military suicides, teen dating violence and access to victim's compensation. It makes me crazy. Of course, I could easily filter out that news and read about new laptops and predictions for the next iPhone. I could just declare that my mental health is too important to risk being constantly angry about things I cannot control. I'm not going to do that, of course, due to having a conscience and not wanting to be a selfish older white guy who acts like nobody else matters as long as I've got mine. That's the attitude that let MAGA take over in the first place.

Every so often it is helpful to make lists of pros and cons or to seek counsel from friends, whether they be IRL or from online communities. Other times, going with my gut instinct is the only thing I can do. Every single day is full of choices. Because I am a world-class procrastinator, my choice is often to just wait on more information. That can sometimes be good, frequently it isn't, But, I give myself a break. Like almost everybody, I am doing the best I can with what I've got to work with. I just have to keep moving forward.

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