Men Yelling

Since I became politically active in the 90s, I've dealt with some pretty harsh behavior from people who didn't like my views. I'm not just talking about conservatives, either. When I was organizing veterans and military families against the war in Iraq was the worst. I live beside the most populated military base in the United States and even though I'm a vet with two kids who also served, plenty of people were pissed about anyone here openly opposing the war machine. I got death threats in the mail, my car window was shot out in my driveway, and I got some nasty notes taped to my door at work. Other than that, I've just had to deal with the normal name-calling and harassment many lefties endure. Recently, someone added my name to three moderation lists on Bluesky, labeling me a MAGA troll, a porn spammer and accusing me of some sex thing that I was scared to look up.

On the flip side, if you've never been involved in left politics, you have no idea how people on our side can be vicious to each other in stupid purity tests. I've been accused by people who I wanted to be allies with of being insufficiently supportive of Palestine, women, LGBT rights, the environment, the Iraqi resistance and more. The worst people weren't far-left folks, though. The ugliest, most mean-spirited comments I've ever dealt with came from Blue State liberals who think every person in the south is a MAGA loving moron. I've seen people from NY and California and other places literally celebrate natural disasters in NC, including Hurricane Helene last October. I've been told that if I was a real Democrat, that I would move and never talk to anyone from NC again. These superior types don't even realize we have a Democratic governor and AG or that the state GOP has had more than a dozen voter suppression and gerrymandering laws eventually overturned.

I believe in accountability and responsibility. I don't accept unacceptable behavior from people who think that just a bit of fascism or racism is OK. I'm mad at the state of my country, and I feel like lashing out more than is probably healthy. I also know this stuff is complicated and the practical application of my political values and societies expectations are difficult to balance if I turn off the bravado for a minute.

I fantasize about being able to act on the anger I feel about the political state we are in. I'd like to be able to call out every person who has done anything to enable the hateful policies that (white) people are applauding. I would like to refuse to deal with people with backwards views on gender, race, and immigration status. If they want to take food away from hungry kids or medical care away from sick people, I would like to be able to write them out of my life loudly and publicly because they deserve it.

But let's step back into reality for a minute.

I live in one of the larger cities in North Carolina. It votes reliably blue, as do most of the cities of its size in the state. The surrounding rural areas are as red as can be, including the county that employed me for twenty years. Even here in town., many of the residents are former or retired military and most of the white ones are Republicans. If you tried to gauge elections by yard signs, the GOP would win every time. It is not an echo chamber in any way. Conservatives and liberals live and work side by side.

I am very openly on the progressive side, with the appropriate bumper stickers and snide remarks about Republican policy every once in a while. I don't cross the line at work (anymore) but I walk right up to it. Always have. I try to let me fellow white people know that I am not in their club. I'm not the one you come to complain about diversity hiring or to whine about Joe Biden being responsible for egg prices. I will absolutely get loud when subjected to backwards behavior but correcting every non-woke opinion in others is not my life's mission.

I have someone close to me who is lucky enough to live in Austin, TX. He worked for Samsung for 15 years. When the Tesla Gigafactory was built, which was before the company CEO bought Twitter and revealed himself to be a fascist, recruiters for the EV maker made him an attractive offer which he accepted. It was a great opportunity for someone with no degree to get a job in a green industry, making a sizable six-figure salary with stock options vesting in a few years and potential bonuses to offset the two kids he's single-handedly putting through school. He is 100% aware of the behavior of the man at the head of his company's food chain. He does not defend him.

Most of the people in my family who stay informed about politics and have an opinion, lean left, but both of my parents are Republicans, although Mom isn't a Trump voter. One of my Dad's bothers is also conservative, and he happens to be the person responsible for me reaching adulthood without going into the juvenile justice system or foster care. He's the only person in my family who goes to a multi-racial church. He's just constitutionally incapable of voting for a Democrat because we'll take away his hunting rifle…or something. It makes me sad.

I'd like to boast about having come out of the womb with a natural inclination towards perfect politics, but I didn't. I didn't develop any strong political feelings until I was almost 30. I voted for one of the worst Republicans in history when I was 19 out of pure ignorance. I even skipped a couple of elections. I believe I've done an adequate job in the past 30 years of achieving redemption with the help of committed activists and mentors and my own open mind. Someone had to educate me about the backwardness and ignorance I lived in on a whole list of topics:

  • Unions
  • Israel/Palestine
  • US Military Policy
  • Criminal justice
  • White privilege
  • Affirmative action
  • LGBT rights
  • Patriarchy

I'm not going to confess every sin I've ever committed against the values I hold today, but there were many, from the horrible use of inappropriate language to joining the army and working in a prison. It took what it took to get me where I am today, but, yeah, I wish I'd gotten here sooner and with less baggage. I am not a unique or special case. I know others who've had journeys similar to my own. We made the most of our leaning opportunities and came out better for it. We learned to forgive ourselves, and we didn't defend our former attitudes.

This is not the paragraph where I am going to wrap everything up into a neat package and hand it to you so that you know what to do. I wish I knew. I know that as angry as I am, I also have to practice empathy, understanding, and forgiveness, or I'll just be a shitty excuse for a person. I also have to resist the urge to just get along with people and take the easier and softer way of ignoring things that need to be dealt with. It's a balancing act and a hard one. Just do the best you can and act from a loving place as much as possible,

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