New Zealand

Lots of Americans are wishing they could spend the next four years anywhere but in the United States. Escapist fantasies are the order of the day. We know the old saw is true,"No matter where you go, there you are." There may not actually be a geographic cure for what ails us, but escapism and fantasy are what we have left. We are fully cognizant of the creeping oligarchy and fascist tendencies popping up all over the world, but we still want to get away.

If you live in one of the places I mention, you can be a spoil sport and leave a comment detailing all the things wrong with my fantasy version of your homeland if you'd like to. I know I am dealing with an idealized creation of my own imagination. I am just wishful, not naive.

First Choice - New Zealand

This is about as far away as I can get from Mar-a-Lago. It's attractive because, like most of my fellow countrymen, I only speak one language and what do you know, it happens to be the same one they speak in New Zealand. If photos tell the truth, it is a drop-dead gorgeous country. Like the US, it has a famous and spectacular long distance hiking trail, the Te Araroa, 3,000 KM of rugged beauty. Another positive factor about the culture there is that white people seem to have taken more responsibility for the historic injustices done to the Maori people than what we have. That's a big plus.

Second Choice - Ireland

I've actually been to the island of Ireland, but not the Republic. I was only able to visit Northern Ireland, the six counties that the UK still holds on to. Still, I know that the Irish Republic has a president who is a gay, half-Indian doctor. I'm giving the country a lot of credit for that. I'm also a fan of the way the Irish police themselves. They don't even call their law enforcement folks "the police." They are referred to as the Garda Síochána and they manage to keep the peace without being armed to the gills and shooting POC every 15 minutes. I don't have Irish heritage, so I hopefully won't annoy anyone with the typical American plastic paddy act. There are a lot of tech companies there, so I'd even be able to contribute to the economy.

Third Choice - Pitcairn Island

My ultimate Fantasy get away is the tiny British Island in the Pacific Ocean where the inhabitants are mostly descendants of nine British HMS Bounty mutineers and twelve Tahitian women. There are about 35 permanent inhabitants. Most of the people who live there are Seventh Day Adventists and while I am not religious, I am well acquainted with the Adventist Church. I like their emphasis on health and I appreciate the way they decided to ignore some of the changes other Christians made to their religion, like arbitrarily changing the day or worship just to make the pagans happy. I'd gladly hang out on a tiny island far away to escape MAGA for four years.

It takes a lot to motivate me to want to leave North Carolina, my lifelong home. We are not looking forward to the continuation of the current timeline. I'm approaching this from a massively privileged position as a straight, white, male, middle-class veteran. My brothers and sisters who are POC, LBGT or poor face all kinds of discrimination, harassment and potentially the loss of health insurance, medical care and the removal of any social safety net. It is going to suck so bad.

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