Amerpie by Lou Plummer

In the 1999 movie adaption of Steven King's The Green Mile, the guards go into the condemned man's cell to ask about the arrangements for his execution. They want to know his last meal request and if he wants a preacher to be with him. Ultimately, they even ask if he wants a chance to escape. The prisoner, named John Coffey, tells them he's ready to go, starting his speech with a resigned "I'm tired boss." Brother, I can relate.

Most of my working life hasn't been spent in a physically demanding job. Occasionally in educational tech we have to install computer labs or do large scale moves, but most of the work is honestly spent sitting down, alternately reading and typing. Sure, it can be mentally draining to do something repetitive or to solve a stubborn problem, but it doesn't make your back hurt.

I have had hard jobs that took a physical toll on me. I've worked as a cook in a busy restaurant. I've framed houses, and I spent time in the infantry. I've spent eight-hour summer days walking backwards down the highway carrying a heavy shotgun guarding prisoners the state wanted people to see out on the roads working. My teenage years were spent on my uncle's farm and if that man believes in one thing, it's teaching young people discipline through manual labor. I'm not unfamiliar with fatigue.

Even my leisure pursuits for years were spent chasing the endorphin rush that endurance sports can bring on. I loved 100-mile bike rides and backpacking over mountains. Building up endurance is an adaptive behavior. If you train a lot, you can do some pretty miraculous things.

The tiredness I'm aware of today, isn't a physical feeling though. It might be me yelling "get off my lawn" at the world, I don't know. What I'm tired of is a world that seems in some ways to be evolving for the benefit of the investor class and not for the working stiff. The last thing I want to do at the end of the day is to go to the grocery store and ring up my own order. The store I go to just took out half the cash registers and replaced them with self check out kiosks. Who wants that? I go to McDonald's for a cup of their fine coffee, and the only human I get to deal with is the one who sits the cup in front of me. All the ordering and paying is done through a giant panel that tries to upsell me at every turn. I'm even old enough to remember the days when people didn't have to pump their own gas. Why was that eliminated? It seems to have disappeared at the same time that gas got expensive.

I'm also tired of having to exercise discernment when I used to be able to just believe stuff. I could turn on the evening news and Walter Cronkite would tell me the deal, or may John Chancellor or Harry Reid. These days, I have to make sure I'm not in someone's spin zone when I try to stay informed. Newspapers that were institutions, like The New York Times, Washington Post and LA Times, are now operated by people who wouldn't be good contestants on Fear Factor. Some of them wouldn't endorse a presidential candidate, and they all lean towards sane washing the half of the American political system that is now ruling us. To be blunt, they have no balls, and it makes me tired.

I'm tired of a political system that's caters to a powerful minority. In the US, most people support a woman's right to choose. They support raising the minimum wage. They support equal (not special) rights for LGBT people. Do you hear me? Most people, the majority, support those things, yet they are always in contention because a party that has only won a majority twice in 32 years uses every under-handed dirty trick they can think of to subvert the will of the people. It's obscene.

I'm tired of things that used to be free or nominally priced. My kids grew up going to the state run aquariums located in a couple of our coastal towns. Today I have to drop a C-note to take my grandkids. Camping spots at state parks used to be free or just cost a five spot and now they cost as much as some hotel rooms. It seems like libraries may be all we have left, and thank god someone already thought of them. Imagine someone proposing a free service like that today. They'd be labeled a crazy socialist and chased out of town.

Thankfully, there are some things left that give me energy. Being able to exercise free speech fires me up. Seeing my southern state elect a Democrat (who is Jewish) for governor gave me energy. His opponent had labeled himself a Nazi and said he's like to own slaves. We also elected a Democrat for attorney general and state school superintendent. The Republican who ran for the school job had said she wanted Obama and Biden executed on TV and homeschooled her kids over sending them to public school. I am not without hope, and hope gives me energy.