When I was in junior high school, my family frequently went to minor league baseball games at an old brick stadium in Gastonia, NC where we lived at the time. At that age, I lived and breathed the game, memorizing stats, collecting baseball cards and counting down the days until the game of the week came on television. As a promotion, the local team had a Hall of Fame player named Bob Feller appear one night to sign autographs and meet the fans.

Feller was the greatest pitcher of his era. He entered the major leagues when he was 17. Before he turned 21 he already had a 24-win season under his belt. He played the game from 1936-1956, with a four-year break to serve in the navy aboard the USS Alabama where he saw combat and rose to the rank of chief petty officer. He was elected to the Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility, receiving the highest percentage of votes than any player preceding him.

At the park that night, after he finished signing all the programs and talking to the fans, instead of leaving and going back to his hotel, he surprised me by going into the box seats to stay and watch the game. He was sitting all by himself and I just couldn't help myself. Even though I didn't have a ticket for that section, I went down there anyway and asked him if I could sit with him. He told me that I absolutely could. I talked his ear off. When I mentioned that I knew he was in the Navy, he really became animated, Despite all the accolades he'd gotten for his athletic career, he seemed to be more proud of being a sailor than for anything else. As the game progressed, he commented on the players and their skills, always complementing them. He was just a gem of a human being.

Defining someone as a hero is a curious practice when you think about it. The term gets used loosely. I usually consider a hero to be someone who has displayed some sort of bravery or overcome serious obstacles. In some cases, heroes are people who have gone above and beyond to help other people. There are many musicians, actors, and athletes whose talent I really admire, but I don't consider them to be heroic for that. In some cases, though, the people in the entertainment business have done other things that make them someone to look up to.

Pete Seeger worked to end segregation and performed for striking workers all over the country. When he was brought before Congress and accused of being a communist, he refused to name names when asked about the activities of others, unlike Ronald Reagan who squealed on his fellow actors.

Robin Williams made secret visits to hospitals to visit and entertain children, and was well known for using his connections to help other people. An avid cyclist, he once went out to help a stranger who had a flat on his bike in front of Williams home. When the problem turned out to be more complicated than that, Williams went and got one of his bikes and just gave it to the guy. I don't know if any of that rises to the level of heroism, but he was sure a nice person.

Other than Bob Feller, I haven't had many run-ins with celebrities. Maybe the closes I came was getting a call from Ron Kovic, a paralyzed Vietnam veteran who wrote a book called Born on the Fourth pf July about his post-war experiences. Tom Cruise played him in the movie by the same name. Kovic, who was 100% a hero for numerous reasons, called me to encourage me in the work I was doing to organize veterans and military families in the early days of the Iraq War. I was blown away by his kindness.

We're all entitled to consider anyone we want as a hero. Just choose wisely and put some though into it.

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I actually have quite a few days that are very close to perfect. I don't need to win the lottery or be gifted a new car to achieve perfection. All I want is a day filled with things that are already my favorites and I am a happy man.

My perfect day starts early, like 4:30 am. Easing downstairs in a silent house to turn on a single lamp for a little soft lighting before dawn is OK with me. I'll ease into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best. While I drink it, I'll catch up with my personal email and social media. On a perfect day, i'll have messages from a few Internet friends, and definitely have some new pictures of some of my grandkids in my messages. Wonder Woman generally wakes up in a good mood and I'm always happy to see her make her way to the living room where we do most of our hanging out.

She will have a cop of coffee and a small glass of juice or half a banana before she goes for her run. It will be a short one and when she gets back and grabs a shower, we will go to the diner at the end of the street where we are regulars. The waitresses all know us and haven't offered us menus in years. I'll take yet another picture of my wife from across the table. That's part of the ritual. I have a couple hundred from inside that very restaurant.

When we get back home, we will hang out together. She reads or watches something on her iPad. I've got three blog posts to write, so I'll start working on them. After I finish the first one, I'll probably set my computer down for a few minutes and grab a quick nap. We will forage for something to eat in a couple of hours. By then, I will have heard from one or more of the kids or maybe my Mom. I love my family dearly and staying in touch means a lot to me.

After lunch would be a good time to see the three closest grandchildren. It doesn't take much to make them happy. Just a trip to Dairy Queen or going for a walk at the park is enough to satisfy them. The kids are great huggers, both to say hello and goodbye. That makes me happy.

When we get home, Wonder Woman and I will probably watch a movie, which we do in our spare bedroom, reclined on the bed where she rests her head on my chest so I can kiss the top of her head every couple of minutes or so. She will generally watch anything I pick out. I keep a running list and I just pick whatever sounds good at the moment.

Tonight we had a perfect day conversation that went like this:

Lou: You know what would be awesome?
WW: What?
Lou: If you order us some pizza!
WW: That would be awesome!

I don't have to cook AND I get pizza. That's perfect.

After dinner, I'll finish my daily blogging, stopping to watch the videos she plays for me on her iPad from the other end of the couch. Her favorite genre are videos making fun of men for doing typical man things. Tonight it was a guy who answered multiple trivia questions in a row but could not remember the text his wife sent him just hours before with a grocery request that included a picture of what she needed.

We will go to bed early on the perfect day, because unless we are driving back from a trip, we always go to bed early. My preferred ritual is to read blog posts in my RSS reader until I can't keep my eyes open. I sleep pretty good. I have a lot of perfect days.

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When I'm hungry, I don't usually pine for steak or lobster. What I want is a plate of cheese and crackers, or a tin of smoked oysters, a handful of Chex Mix or some homemade pork skins. I shudder at the thought of going on a road trip without stopping by a convenience store for a Diet Coke and a bag of chips and quite possibly a Reese's Cup. Before bed, I am partial to a plate full of watermelon cubes either with some Feta cheese or sprinkled with Tajin, a Mexican spice that is great with fruit. I love an easy to peel Clementine at any time of day. I'm in my third consecutive year of eating crackers and Slim Jims every weekday morning.

I enjoy cooking, and I'm pretty good at it. Furthermore, I've studied nutrition extensively, so I know how and when to prepare special meals before endurance events and how to create tasty dishes from scratch. There are several places within a few miles of my home to purchase fresh fruits and vegetables, open year round. As a dieting veteran, I'm able to accurately estimate macronutrient and calorie counts for most foods without relying on an app or a book. I'm married to a conscientious eater who is so in tune with her body that she managed to complete a 2200-mile-long distance hike weighing the same on Day 156 as she did on Day 1. 

I wanted to establish those credentials before making my point. Whatever I put in my mouth, I do with full knowledge of the benefits or lack thereof. Left to my own whims, I would rather snack any day then cook. Having small treats throughout the day or in certain circumstances is basically what I live for. One of my favorite parts of any holiday season is the foods associated with them. There are other ritual times to snack, but really, I'm just about always ready.

A lot of this behavior is a holdover from when I was a constantly training endurance sports guy. I went for years eating six small meals a day to manage my weight and energy and to fuel for long bike rides or backpacking trips. Now that I'm older and not as active, these old habits wreak havoc on my waistline. It is an ongoing battle.

Although I enjoy some sweets. I prefer savory foods. When I completed the Appalachian Trail, I'd eaten so many Snickers and Payday bars that in the past 11 years, I haven't had either one of those previous favorites. I ate honeybuns smothered in peanut butter for breakfast on the trail. It was years before I ate another one, but I will occasionally have one now, preferably with some delicious gas station coffee.

I have a few unusual favorites. I enjoy a good pickled egg now and then. We have many Asian markets where I live and they just about all carry locally made kimchi, which is a Korean dish of fermented cabbage, onions and dakon radish with hot peppers. A few bites of that right of the jar does me just right. Indian mixed pickle is another delicacy. Order some as an app next time you go for some tikki masala. I like just about any kind of canned seafood. Sardines, kippers, mussels — I'll eat all of them. When I go camping, I eat my weight in beef jerky and GORP (good old raisins and peanuts). Oh, let me not forget pickled okra, I love that.

If you ever make your way to North Carolina and stop by the house, I promise to make you dinner, but if you just want to join me for a few snacks, that will be alright too.

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When I was in high-school, I took Speech as an elective my senior year, thinking it would be an easy credit. I've never been shy. I thought my vocabulary was good enough to serve me adequately. I knew little about debate, extemporaneous speaking, expository speaking and the other forms of competition. A good portion of the course was taken up by the study of semantics, the study of meaning in language, including the interpretation of words, sentences, and text in context. It's a key component of understanding how linguistic signs and symbols convey specific concepts and ideas. I grokked it immediately. The class turned out to be a lot of fun. Although I didn't win any awards at the speech competitions we went to, I got a lot from the class. My formal education ended when I was 18, so I've had to make the most out of what I learned back then.

When I got involved in political activism and went through training to talk to people about issues, I learned how good the conservative movement had been at choosing the words to frame their positions on things. The prime example is the abortion issue. By calling their stance "pro-life" they assumed the moral high-ground. Who could be against life? The left has tried to label them as anti-choice and anti-abortion but their movement is still known by the name they choose for it. They did the same thing during the early stages of the Affordable Care Act debate when they coined the named "Death Panels." Most reflexive opponents of the act could not tell what exactly a death panel's job was, they just knew that Democrats wanted to kill them. Politicians worldwide use framing. The Brexit "leave" crowd made their argument about taking back control, emphasizing sovereignty and immigration limits.

The left has had some success with framing as well. One of the reasons that Dr. King was successful is the way he framed the struggle for civil rights in the context of American values like freedom and equality. People advocating for vaccines do better when they present their case that by getting vaccinated, you are protecting your loved ones rather than just giving survival stats.

Sometimes, people in tech take ownership over phrases that were once used as pejoratives, like laying claim to the titles geek and nerd. Most people with blogs choose to call themselves bloggers rather than writer as not to appear pretentious, even if they are, in fact, fantastic writers.

I love language. Sometimes I've had a hard time putting into practice that it's not what you say, but how you say it. It's been a 60-year learning process, but I am getting there.

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Dear Internet,

I know it's weird to be getting a letter when we spend so much time together, But I have a few things I need to share with you. None of it is too big a deal. The info will be yours to do with what you want. Let's get started.

First, I want to ask you to be nice to new folks when they enter a community. Every so often they don't know the unwritten rules under which we operate. Believe it or not, there are still grown adults who don't have much social media experience. Can you imagine how much courage it takes to get involved with us, considering our reputation? Just say hi to them and if they need constructive criticism, do it gently or offer it in a private message. If they ask questions that have easy answers, teach them how to fish by telling them how and where to look things up instead of being snarky and asking them if they ever heard of Google. 

Let's all take steps this year to curate our experience. Let's try to use the tools that filter the stuff that stresses us out. Don't feed the trolls when it is so much easier to just block and hide them forever. If someone you have a relationship with has a bad hot take, maybe don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Give them a second chance. Perhaps even forgive them. If, instead, you discover that they have some disqualifying belief system, well, that's a different story. No one is going to ask you to be friends with bigots for the sake of harmony. Have standards and stick to them.

Try coming up with a helpful project this year. Hell, if it takes up too much time, charge a fee. I look at things like Robb Knight's Echofeed and Slash Pages, or the blog prompts from Scott Jones. Jedda and I started Blogroll.club. You could write book reviews like Alexandra or movie reviews like Matt Birchler. Try writing a tutorial on something you are good at. Makea weekly list of bookmarks to share with people. You can do this.

Lastly, be an advocate for the people who need advocates. You know exactly who I am talking about. It has become acceptable in this country to demonize and denigrate people who don't match the profile of the typical voter belonging to the majority party. We have a president-elect who told four members of the house, all women of color, to go back where they came from - and he wasn't talking about Minnesota and the Bronx. Members of the LGBT community are constantly being harassed and accused of things they don't do. The people who gather our food, mow our lawns, build our houses, process our meat and more are being terrorized by threats. Honest journalists who tell us when the emperor has no clothes are being threatened by the incoming FBI director. Even common people are being labeled as enemies from within for not being real Americans. Don't stand for any of it. Don't be silent. Silence favors the oppressor.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this letter. If you have any questions, just ask.

Lou

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